13 Extremely Inappropriate Children’s Toys

13 Extremely Inappropriate Children’s Toys

 BY JAHEEM GREENE 

How these companies followed through with releasing these toys in stores is mind-boggling. Lets take a look at some awkwardly shaped toys that have been on toy shelves for years:

#1: Batman Water Gun

The cap on Batman’s rear along with the trigger strategically located on his frontal region had to have been some pervert’s idea of a sick joke. Also, why does Batman’s mouth have to be open like that? Come on… This is for children!

#2: The Punisher Gatling Blaster

Was this really unintentional?

#3: Nimbus 2000 Vibrating Broomstick

This broomstick’s vibrating ability does not seem relevant to the overall product. WHY does it need to vibrate?! Poor kids are going to be very confused at a very young age.

#4: Dora The Explorer Aquapet

There are many ways to design a fish tank without shaping it like an enormous dildo.

#5: The Breastfeeding Doll

There is no reason why an 8 year old girl should be practicing breastfeeding. At LEAST wait until she starts high school!

#6: The Peni-Pal Unicorn

Yes, mythical unicorns do have horns sprouting from their foreheads… but I don’t remember the unicorn from The Last Unicornhaving a baby penis growing out of her head.

#7: This elephant pop-up children’s book

If you have bad eyes, this is what it says next to the elephant:

“He’s also very large. If something ever makes him mad, he’ll trumpet and he’ll charge.”

#8: E.T. finger light

Yes, everyone wants to recreate that awesome scene when E.T. and the boy touch fingers and create a bright light. But this toy nothing but a creepy, wrinkly, and unusually long penis.

#9: This Donald Duck ride

Lord have Mercy, this is just wrong! What kind of sick parent do you have to be to sit back and watch your innocent daughter ride Donald Duck like that?!

#10: Pole Dancer doll

And she’s even wearing a bikini. Was this doll made for children or creepy pedafiles?

#11: Twin Tower Attack toy

What kind of psycho would think that this was a good toy for children? Clearly not an American.

#12: Cuddle With Me Dolls

Clearly, placing a little black girl with a monkey is going to cause immediate outrage in the African-American community. The little girls hat even says “lil’ monkey”. Imagine the amount of complaint letters they got for this one.

#13: Baby Wee Wee toy

A little boy doll that pees his pants with his fully detailed penis.